February 2012
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“To burn always with this hard gem-like flame, to maintain this ecstasy, is...”
– Walter Pater, from the Conclusion of “Studies in the History of the Renaissance”
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There was an unseasonable thaw at the beginning of February. The snowdrifts in the yards melted and revealed piles of mud; what I thought was just snow turned out to be thrown-out mattresses or discarded desk chairs, now soggy and rotting. Grey water sluiced down the streets, puddling at the curb cuts. Part of the top of my cheap pair of patent boots from the thrift store peeled off from the...
January 2012
processing the "shit radical queers say" video...
J: dude, i was going to say something but now i can't remember
J: oh, have you seen that shit radical queers say or whatever it is
me: Yeah my friend and i had a long talk about it last night
J: i feel like i dont get it
J: it makes me unhappy
J: and all these people i know are posting it with comments that say like "OMG YESSS" and i'm like, what am i missing here this seems kind of fucked up to me
me: Yeah Idk why people are taking it the way they are
J: why is saying "I'm trans" offensive or wrong
J: according to this video
me: I understand it to be like oh here's idiosyncratic things bay area queer folks say to each other that edge on bullshit
J: hmm
me: Which is why i don't get the I'm trans part
J: yeah
me: I guess like I'm trans because its "trendy"
J: ...
J: also i think i get the "i mostly date trans guys" part but it just felt icky. i don't know. i didn't like it
J: i liked the part where the person was holding a banjo
me: What i told my friend is that i think a lot of these ways of talking come from trans folks needing to get therapy for letters and shit and then that kind of language creeps into conversation
J: like processing or something?
me: Right
me: So i kind of hate it when language like that gets pegged as exclusive
J: its also from lesbian feminist culture which starting reclaiming the language of therapy for self care like in the 70s or before
me: Right
J: people talk like that in pat califia books haha
J: while they're like shoving motorcycle parts up each others hoohas
me: Hahahah
me: Can i put this on tumblr
about to watch sherlock again
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so maybe i want to watch two dolly parton movies...
there’s no law against that
and it’s her birthday!
ETA: Well, technically I will probably watch it over the internet so there sort of is a law against that.
country-(mid)western songs
Whose Bed Have Your Snow Boots Been Under?
Every Space Heater in the House is On
Stand By Your Radiator
Tight-Fittin’ Long Underwear
I Will Always Spoon You
Warm as I Was to You
Jesus Take the Thermostat
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Another semester, another round of professors I'm...
I wish I had never told anyone I was trans. This semester is going to be weird because everyone knows or heard it from someone if I didn’t tell them by now.
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sherlock and john are holding hands
Ugh, today has been so unproductive.
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Craft Theory Reading List →
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Nobody ever told me Moby-Dick is a gay adventure...
The first two chapters are a neurotic meditation on the narrator sharing a bed with another man. Who spoons him later.
A whole bottle of dish soap turned over in my room and seeped into the wood floor. I hope my downstairs neighbors aren’t getting soap dripping on them. Lesson learned: always unpack.
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Driving back to Wisconsin tomorrow
In a winter storm. Cue heart attack.
Mom just told me The Cosby Show was on when I was...
How does that figure into my star chart?
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I'm really tired of book reviews of Dean Spade's...
Seriously?
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I’ve noticed a trend in most folks who write about white women in 19th century American and British cultures that I don’t really understand. I’m reading Imperial Leather by Anne McClintock, and she makes a move in one of her chapters that I’ve seen a lot of folks make—assuming that female folks who live as men identify as lesbians or women who love women.
A lot of...
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I think I’ve finally left the skinny jeans phase of my life. Except for snow/rain boot days, which will make up a quarter of my days in Wisconsin.
“You won’t lose me—you’ll keep me. Keep me in your heart; I...”
– Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady
People Who Recall Library Books Over Break
I WILL BURN YOU. I WILL BURN THE HEART OUT OF YOU.
most of my new years resolutions can be summed up...
be more thoughtful about what goes in and out of your mouth
December 2011
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i am just a rodeo calf with tender feet and...
i read most of original plumbing and their blog like i do cosmo (i flip through it when i remember about it or see it on someone’s coffee table and generally shake my head), but recently there have been two posts that have given me pause, especially being at home.
oliver bendorf wrote about love and hurt, and chris mosier wrote about getting “girled” by his mom and it was weird...
there's our catastrophe: How to find textbooks... →
pompadoursandpincurls:
obsessionfull:
Textbooks are fucking expensive, and if your professor doesn’t require a physical copy (most don’t - they just want you to have the book at hand. Or maybe even not. Some professors literally give no fucks about whether you have the book or not)…
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My parents went to a funeral
Dad: He looked really good.
Mom: Honey, he was dead.
Dad: So? There's nothing wrong with that. I told his wife that.
Me: You didn't!
Dad: You're right! I remember now. I told her he looked so young.
The awkward moment when your mom washed your "I...
D:
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Stunned community looks for justice after gay... →
so a queer kid that went to the high school i went to my first year killed himself this year, and i just found out because my best friend told me.
no one else i’m close with—and my whole family works in the school system—told me about this.
i wish i could say i’m surprised but i faced the same kind of terror every day at cheatham county and almost as much when i was at...
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One very sad thing about this trip is that my cat that I grew up with has been ill and sort of went off the deep ed…she spends all her time in the cupboard.
Conversations I Thought I Would Never Have
Mom: Do you mind if we sit at the bar?
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everything is weird in tennessee
weird weird weird
all i can think about is, “what is my family about me now? what do they think is going on? what do they think about how i look?”
it’s like i never came out as trans but did and now they’re ignoring it but they miss me so they’re continuing to ignore it even though i look like a boy kind of generally speaking except i’ve been misread more...
omg remember your first queer kiss
why aren't there more good queer movies, god
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just so you know
me: I'm sorry, I'm going to be really irritating and check in a ton of UW-Madison as well as UW System books, some of which are reported as lost, and I need receipts for all of them.
librarian: It's only annoying if you don't tell us first.